His Eyes
by Katiesmom07
Summary: Grissom finally gets the nerve to talk to Sara. An old relationship will come back to haunt him. To fit with my timeline, this would have had to have taken place around the middle of season four.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: It's not mine!

1

As he pulled his car into the spot, he still wondered if he'd keep up his nerve. He thought about driving here several times, but something always stopped him. At first, he never even made the left-handed turn out of the lab's drive. After he finally made it past that point, there were weeks of turning around and taking scenic routes back to his townhouse. The next week or so he drove past her parking lot. The past week, he'd been in her parking lot three times. This was the first time, though, that he turned off the ignition.

Why was this so hard for him? Here he was, a man in his fifties, and he still couldn't even ask a woman out on a date. Well, he could ask a woman out on a date, just not the one he wanted to ask. And why was this so hard anyway? This should be easier. After all, he already knew she was interested in him. She'd asked him out to dinner for goodness sake! He was the one that turned her down! Maybe that was it. Maybe he was afraid she'd turn him down like he had her. What kind of man was he? If she could take that rejection, why couldn't he?

The answer was simple; he was chicken. She was braver than he was. She was so strong. That's one of the things he adored about her. Her strength and determination blew him away. Life had handed her so many obstacles and, in his mind, she'd overcome every one of them. Sure, she'd struggled a few times, but she'd always made it through.

And it was time he learned a lesson from her. With that, he got of his car and walked to her apartment door. He must have stood there for about five minutes before he got the nerve to knock. He heard her footsteps through the door and almost turned to leave. Keeping his goal in mind and scolding himself for being a coward, he stood his ground.

When she opened the door, he sucked in a breath. "Grissom?"

He smiled and all he could manage was, "Hi."

A few seconds past and Sara finally spoke, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh!" He thought about lying, but figured that wouldn't be a good start, "I, uh, need to talk to you."

"Okay. Would you like to come in?"

"If you don't mind."

"No, come in." After he walked past her, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"What do you have?"

"Coffee, juice, water, tea…"

Forgetting that she wouldn't have any liquor, he went with the next best thing, "Coffee?"

"Okay, I'll put a pot on. Make yourself comfortable."

He walked over to her sofa and sat down. Funny, both times he'd been to her apartment, he found himself sitting in the same spot on her sofa. She'd come in and sit on the chair next to him, and they'd talk. Every time, she'd end up in tears and he'd helplessly reach out a hand to her. His goal was for this time to be different. With that in mind, he moved to sit in the chair. Might as well start off on the right foot.

She came into the living room a few moments later and sat where he'd just been on the sofa. "Coffee will be ready in a few minutes."

"Great." A moment of awkward silence loomed until both of them spoke at the same time, "Sara, I…"

"Gris, what did…sorry, you go first."

"Okay." After a deep breath, he took the plunge, "I wanted to…no, I need to know if you're still interested."

With a confused look, "Interested?"

Matter-of-factly, "Yes."

"Ya wanna help me out here?"

His brow furrowed as he realized his mind was ahead of him, "Sorry. I, uh…" He struggled with his words, but finally it hit him, "Do you remember when you asked me to dinner?"

She gave him a 'duh' look and answered, "No, I always forget when I'm turned down by a guy I'm interested in. Especially when I have to work with him every day."

He pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows at her, "So that's a yes."

"Yeah."

"Good. Well, I was wondering if, through that hostility I hear in your voice, you're still interested."


	2. Chapter 2

2

She was absolutely dumbfounded. Did he actually come to her apartment to ask her out? At a loss, and totally speechless, she stood and walked into the kitchen. When she came back with their coffee, his elbows were on his knees and his face was in his hands. When she cleared her throat, he looked up. For the first time, she saw emptiness in his eyes. Had she done that? No matter what the circumstances were, she could always see life in his eyes. But now, she could only see empty dark holes.

How could she do this to him? After all, she knew what it was like to be hurt. He'd hurt her. He'd hurt her more than he'd ever know. She was absolutely crushed when he'd turned her dinner invitation down. No, it hadn't been a definite 'no' but it was almost like the end to her. He'd told her he didn't know what to do about their relationship. To Sara, that meant 'no'. She'd known Grissom long enough to know that if he didn't know how to handle something, it didn't happen. He was always in control…of everything.

Which made her wonder how he was handling sitting in her apartment. He was definitely not in control here. This was her ground. She had the home advantage here. And he was very vulnerable sitting on her couch waiting for her answer. This must have been tough for him, coming here. She could almost hear the wheels in his head turn as he tried to figure out what her response would be and how he'd react.

Knowing that he'd be able to answer, she asked, "What would you say if I said no?"

The emptiness in his eyes was immediately replaced by sadness, "I'd say that I'm not surprised. In fact, I expect you to say no. I guess I just needed to hear you say it out loud. I suppose I've hurt you too much." He hung his head and continued, "I, uh, need you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I just, well, it all happened once. You asked me to dinner about five minutes after I'd made the decision to have my surgery. I know you don't know anything about it. I never told anyone but Catherine. But, well, I guess I need to tell you now, even though it's too late." She wanted to tell him that it wasn't too late, but she really wanted to hear what he had to say. He continued, "You see, I have this disease, ostoclerosis. It's hereditary. It affects the ear. I was, uh, losing my hearing. I was very insecure and very scared. It seemed as though my whole life was crumbling in front of me. My job depends on my five senses. The fact that I was losing one of mine terrified me. Not only would I lose my hearing, but I would lose my job also. You have to realize that my job is very important to me."

He took a sip of his coffee without looking up and then continued, "I was petrified of the surgery. I struggled with the decision for a while before I finally decided to have it. When you walked in and asked me to dinner, well, I didn't feel like a man. I felt…scared and worried that everything I had in life was being yanked out from under me. My whole life was falling apart and I just couldn't balance anything else at that point. When I said that I didn't know what to do about this, it wasn't because I was trying to turn you away, it was really just because I didn't know…anything. I was facing the possibility of not being able to ever hear your voice again. How was I supposed to go to dinner with you when I wouldn't even be able to talk to you? How was I supposed to ever be able to take care of you when I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to take care of myself? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't say no to you, I was saying no to life. I didn't know what life had in store for me, so I just couldn't add anything else to my plate. I know this doesn't change anything, but I just needed you to know."

He never looked up, and this time it was she who reached out to take his hand. When he looked up, he saw tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Sara."

"Why?"

"Because I never meant to hurt you."

"I know."

"You do?"

"I do now." He smiled for the first time since he'd arrived at her apartment. Finally, the sadness in his eyes started to fade. "Why did you wait so long to tell me this?"

"Huh! You know, I don't know. I've been trying to get to your door now for a couple months, but something always got in my way."

"What?"

"Fear. I always knew you'd say no, but I guess I just hoped that there was a part of you that could see through all the bruises I've given you."

"Grissom, I never said no."

"But you…"

"No. I asked you what you say if I said no. I never actually said no."

"Sooooo?"

"So, I don't know. You're right. I have a lot of bruises. You've hurt me. But, now I know why some of that happened."

"Okay."

She smiled, "So, what would you say if I said yes?"


	3. Chapter 3

3

He chuckled. She wasn't going to make this easy for him. Yet another trait he adored about her. "I'd say that you were joking."

"What if I said I wasn't?"

"Then I'd say I'm the luckiest man on earth."

She tilted her head and smirked, "Really?"

He looked deep into her eyes then. His sadness had been replaced by a sparkle in his eye. "Really."

She broke their gaze and stared at her empty coffee cup. Without a word, she stood again and went to the kitchen. When she returned, her cup was full and she carried the pot over to fill his mug. She returned the kitchen again and returned to her seat on the couch. He was thankful that she'd filled his cup. It meant that she didn't want him to leave yet. The silence, though, was killing him. But he waited for her to find her words.

Finally, "You know, I've waited for this moment for a long time. I've played the conversation over and over in my head. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew exactly how I wanted to walk toward you. I knew the exact point I wanted to kiss you." She wanted to kiss him? That had to be good, he thought. "But now, well, let's just say it's not going as planned."

"How was it planned?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

She looked at him with her half smile, "Yeah?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Well, first of all, I never thought you'd be the one asking me. My whole plan was centered on me convincing you that I was right; that we could make this work. Now, it's like it's the other way around."

"Okay. Well, how's this?" He put his cup on the coffee table and leaned toward her. "I know that I might not be the easiest person to be around, and I know that I've made a lot of mistakes. I've hurt you, and I can't take that back. Trust me, that if I could change one thing, I'd take all that hurt back. But since I can't, I'll make this promise to you." He raised a hand then and placed it on her cheek. "I promise that, if you'll give me the chance, I'll spend every moment I can replacing that hurt with happiness and prove to you that we can make this work." As he drew her face toward him, she never deviated her eyes from his. The sparkle in his eyes turned to deep passion as their lips met for the first time. It was a brief kiss, light and feather-like. But the magic and passion that was held in that moment would never be replaced.

He pulled back from her, but left his hand on her cheek. After a few moments of silence, "How'd I do?"

She smiled. That smile intoxicated him. "Better than any of my plans."


	4. Chapter 4

4

The shrill of his cell woke him from his dreams. He glanced at his alarm clock and seeing that it was almost noon, he groaned as he reached for the phone. Was he ever going to get any sleep? He'd just gotten home after working a triple. There was no way he could go back in.

Without looking at the caller ID he answered, "Grissom."

"Hey!"

Her voice perked him right up, "Hi."

"Did I wake you?"

He thought about lying, but changed his mind, "Yeah, but that's okay. Is something wrong?"

"Well, I couldn't sleep."

"Sara, we just worked a triple. How can you not be exhausted?"

"I am exhausted. I don't know why I can't sleep."

"Okay. Do you just want to talk for a while and see if you can fall asleep?"

"Well, I was thinking…"

"What?"

"Can I come in?"

"Come in?" Was she actually standing outside his door?

"Yeah. I know it's kind of rude just coming over like this, but we haven't spent any time together in over a week other than work. If you're too tired, I'll go." After a few silent seconds, "Grissom?"

She was answered by his door opening. "Good afternoon." He was wearing a pair of cotton shorts and a t-shirt. His hair was a mess and his eyes were filled with sleep. He was absolutely gorgeous.

"Hi." She snapped her cell shut and walked in when he grabbed her hand. "I'm glad you came."

"Yeah?"

He gathered her into his arms after he closed and locked the door, "Yeah."

"You look really tired."

"I am."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your sleep, I just…"

He silenced her with a finger on her lips. "It's fine." He finally looked down and realized what she was wearing, "Are you wearing pajamas?"

"Uh, yeah. I told you, I couldn't sleep. I just thought if I saw you for a minute I'd be able to. So…"

He laced his fingers with hers and led her back to his bedroom. When he drew her down onto the bed with him he said, "Let's see if this worked." He kissed her on the forehead, put his arm around her shoulders and drew her head down to his chest. She was somewhat shocked, but knew she didn't have the energy to resist. She curled up to him like it was the most natural thing in the world. With her hand on his chest and her leg draped over his, she fell almost instantly asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

5

For the second time in one day, his cell woke him. This time, though, since she was still wrapped in his arms, he knew it wasn't Sara. She stirred as he reached for the phone and he tightened his grip on her shoulders so she didn't roll away.

"Grissom."

"Hey. It's Jim. We got a 419 with your name on it. Bugs are everywhere." He gave him directions that he hoped he'd remember since he couldn't move to write them down.

"All right. Don't let anyone touch anything. I need to shower. Give me a half hour."

"Okay. I'll call in help. You want Sara?"

In more ways than one, he thought to himself. Aloud, "Yeah. Call her cell. She'll answer." When he snapped his phone shut, he kissed Sara on the forehead. "Your cell's gonna ring in a minute."

"Hmm?" Her eyes fluttered open.

"Jim is going to be calling you any second." Her cell buzzed on the bed beside her. "We got a 419. I told him to call you."

"Sidle."

"Sara, it's Jim. I just called Grissom. We got a 419 and he needs your help."

"Okay. I'll be there in a half hour." She snapped her cell shut and groaned as she curled back into his arms. "I don't feel good. Can I stay home?"

He chuckled, "I'd rather you stay here."

"That's what I meant."

"But I won't be here."

"Okay, fine! I'll go."

"Good. Come one, Honey. You have to go home to get dressed. And I need a shower." They got out of bed, he kissed her and walked into the bathroom. "See you in a half hour."

When he got out of the shower and got dressed, he would have sworn he smelled coffee brewing. Sara had stopped to make him coffee on her way out? He walked into his kitchen to find Sara fully dressed with a towel wrapped around her head. "What the hell?"

She turned and smiled, "Hi. Do you have a blow dryer?"

Stunned, he took the cup of coffee she handed him. "Did you plan on staying here?"

"No, but I always keep a spare set of clothes in my trunk just in case I need them. I used the shower in your other bathroom. So?"

"So what?"

"Blow dryer?"

"In my bathroom."

"Great. I'll be ready in five."

Dumbfounded, he watched her walk into his bedroom. They'd just woken up together and gotten ready for work together. She'd made him coffee in a travel mug and now she was using his blow dryer. He smiled as he realized that he could really get used to this.


	6. Chapter 6

6

Jim had been right. The crime scene had Grissom's name all over it. He spent hours collecting all his samples while Sara photographed and documented the scene. Finally, he was in his office with all his creepy crawly evidence while Sara processed everything else.

A knock on his door disturbed him, "Come in."

"Hey Gil, got a minute?"

"Yeah, Jim, what do you need?" Grissom leaned back in his chair, took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Jim closed the door and sat in the chair opposite Gil. "I just wanted to talk to you about your relationship."

Grissom looked up and raised an eyebrow, "Relationship?"

"Yeah. You know, for being a CSI you really suck at hiding the evidence."

"Hmm. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Hey! This is me here. Not a cop talking to a CSI, just a guy talking to his pal." Grissom was silent, so Jim continued, "You wanna know where you screwed up?" After Grissom tilted his head to the side, Jim answered his own question, "I know you do. First, you told me to call her on her cell. Why would you tell me that unless you knew she wouldn't pick up if I called her at home? Second, she hung up before I got to tell her where the scene was. Third, you both pulled up within three minutes of each other and didn't even say hello to each other."

Grissom's only response was to suck in his cheeks and purse his lips. "Listen, I'm not trying to pry here. I just want to make sure you watch your back. Ecklie's been looking for a reason to get rid of you for a long time now. You don't need to give him any more reasons." Jim rose and walked to the door and without turning, "I'm happy for you, Gil. Sara's a great girl. Don't let her slip away again."

Gil leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He felt a headache coming on. How could he be so careless? Damn it! This was something that was so important to him and he was screwing it up already. He needed to talk to Sara. He paged her and a few minutes later, there was a knock at his door.

"Come in."

"Hey. You paged?"

"We need to talk."

"Okay." She closed the door behind her and sat in the chair Jim had just left. "What's up?"

"I just spoke to Jim. He knows."

"Knows?"

"About us. I guess we, in his terms, suck at hiding the evidence."

"Oh. You okay?"

"Yes. He's probably my closest friend, other than you. I would have told him sooner or later. This is just sooner than I anticipated."

"Is he okay?"

"Him? Yeah. He says you're great and I shouldn't let you slip away again."

"Again?"

"He knows that we were friends in LA. And he knows that I, uh, liked you when you first moved here. Then, with everything that happened…well he knew that I turned down that dinner invitation."

"I never knew you two were that close."

"He's always been there for me."

"So, where does this leave us?"

"Well, it leaves me with my bugs and you with the rest of the evidence. Then it leaves us…being more careful."

Sara smiled, "Okay. So there's only an 'us' to us. To everyone else, we're just you and I."

"Is that all right with you?"

"Grissom, as long as there is an 'us', I'm fine with everything else."

"Good, me too."

"So, how much longer are you going to be here?"

"I don't know. I need to see certain stages. But I also need some sleep."

"And food."

"Yeah."

"Well, when you decide to leave…I'll be home."

Grissom smiled at the unspoken invitation.


	7. Chapter 7

7

When he finally got out to his car, he found a piece of paper pinned under his wiper blade. He unfolded the paper and found that it was blank. Its purpose was to conceal a key. Without hesitation, he drove to his apartment long enough to pack an overnight bag then drove to Sara's apartment. When he got to the door, he unlocked it with the key he'd been given. Once inside, he saw a lit candle on the breakfast bar with a note beside it.

Grissom 

_There's a plate of food in the microwave and a glass of juice poured in the fridge. Eat before you come to bed. You must be starved._

_Sara_

After he started the microwave, he took his juice out and sat by the lit candle. He realized then that she had silverware all set out and a pen on top of the newspaper, which was folded with the crossword on top. He'd finished the first six clues before the microwave beeped at him. He finished half the puzzle before he finished the plate of spaghetti she'd left him. Normally he would have finished the puzzle before he went to sleep, but tonight he had a reason to go to bed. There would be a beautiful woman to hold in his arms.

He quickly changed into his t-shirt and lounge pants and walked into his sleeping beauty. For a moment, he watched her sleep peacefully. When he crawled into bed beside her, she stirred enough to curl up to him. He kissed her forehead and fell fast asleep.

She woke up before he did and smiled as she watched him sleep. He'd followed her evidence right to her bedroom. It did scare her though, that he'd managed to get into bed with her without her waking up. She pushed it out of her mind and concentrated on getting up without waking him. Obviously, though, she was not as good at this as he was. As soon as she tried to scoot away, his grip on her waist tightened and he groaned.

Without opening his eyes, "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom."

"Coming back?"

"Yes."

He opened one eye and smiled, "Okay." When she crawled back into bed, "Mmm. You brushed your teeth."

"Always. Bathroom, then teeth. Go back to sleep. You must still be tired."

"Yes, but I need to get back to work."

"Okay. Are you hungry?"

"I just ate."

"Just? What time did you get here?"

"Around midnight."

"Well, then, that was seven hours ago."

"Seven? I've been asleep for seven hours?"

"Seems so."

"You must be good for me. I never sleep more than three or four hours at a time."

"Yep, that's me. Good at putting people to sleep."

He jabbed her in the side, "That's not what I meant."

"I know. So, do you want me to make you something to eat before you go?"

"You aren't coming?"

"I have a doctor's appointment this morning and then I'll come in later. Besides, I don't want to max out my overtime during the first two weeks of the month."

"Okay. I'm gonna shower before I go in."


	8. Chapter 8

8

After her yearly ob/gyn appointment, Sara strolled to her car while she laughed at herself. She was actually embarrassed about asking for a birth control prescription. At her age, she should really be past that.

With time to kill before going in to work, she decided to do some shopping. She felt like a nice, romantic dinner for two was in order. Dinner and a movie maybe. With that in mind, she went dress shopping first. It had been a long time since she'd wanted to buy a dress to wear for a man. But Grissom seemed to bring out the lady in her. She actually wanted to be pretty for him. She loved the way he looked at her. The passion in his eyes was undeniable. She wasn't sure if the love she saw there was her imagination or not, but the sparkle was for real.

His eyes captivated her. They held all the truths she'd ever known or cared to know. Every inch of her responded to what she saw in his eyes. She could see his soul through his eyes. Buying a dress was a lot easier since she had a reason to buy one. After a couple hours she had her perfect dress, matching shoes and, for the first time in her life, some sexy lingerie.

After buying new candlesticks, she headed for the grocery store. After picking up all she needed for her quiche and strawberry cheesecake dessert, she headed to the movie store. Deciding they were not ready for a chick flick, she went with what she thought would be a winner for Grissom; Romeo and Juliet.

After she unpacked the car, and got everything ready for their romantic breakfast/dinner, she showered and changed for work. It wasn't until she was blow-drying her hair that she thought, 'Will he even want to come over after shift? Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up. Maybe he'll want alone time. Maybe I'm being too pushy.' She chuckled as she realized she was ranting to herself inside her head for no apparent reason. She'd just ask him when she got there.

She was still laughing at herself as she walked into the lab. She headed straight for Grissom's office. The door was closed, so she knocked. She entered without waiting for his response and found him engrossed in his bugs. "Hey."

"Hi. I'm glad you came by. How'd your appointment go?"

"Fine. It was just my yearly check-up."

"Good." He got up and walked over to her. In a hushed voice, "I missed you."

"You did?"

"Yes. And I'd like to kiss you right now."

"Hmm. The suspense will kill you all night."

"Who said I was going to wait?"

"Grissom, we're working."

"But I missed you all day."

She smirked, "Well, I'm here now. But you're still gonna have to wait for that kiss. Anyone could walk in."

"Fine, I'll wait. But I don't want to." He walked away from her to sit behind his desk. "So, since you don't want to kiss me, what did you stop by for?"

"First of all, I never said I didn't want to kiss you, I just said it wasn't a good idea while we were working. And second, I came by to ask you to dinner slash breakfast at my place after shift. I, uh, bought a new dress today."

"Really?"

"Yes. I bought it just for you. Along with candles and my special strawberry cheesecake dessert."

"Sounds romantic. Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this at work."

She gave him her signature smirk, "Is that a no?"

"No, that's a yes. I'll have to go home and change first."

"Okay. How about an hour and a half after we get out of here? That'll give me time to shower and get the food ready."

"It's a date."

With that, Sara left to go work on the case. She was walking to the Trace Lab to see if Hodges had anything for her when she heard his name.

The receptionist was saying, "I'm afraid Dr. Grissom is not available at the moment. Would you care to leave a message?"

"No, I would like to see him. How long do you think it would be if I waited?"

The receptionist was losing her cool, "Like I said before, Mr. Grissom can't be disturbed right now."

Sara interrupted, "Hello, my name is Sara Sidle." She reached out her hand to the gentleman and he shook her hand. "I work with Dr. Grissom. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Nice to meet you Ms. Sidle. My name is Barry Sims. Thank you for your offer, but I have personal business I need to discuss with Dr. Grissom concerning his daughter. Do you know when I could see him?"


	9. Chapter 9

9

Sara froze and the receptionist gasped as she brought her hands to her face. When she finally regained composure, Sara said, "I'm sorry. You must have the wrong person here. Dr. Grissom is not married. He doesn't have any children."

"Ms. Sidle, I can't discuss this any further with you. If you could just let Dr. Grissom know that I'm here and I need to speak to him about his daughter, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Could I, uh, have your business card or credentials please?" He handed her a business card indicating that he was a lawyer. "I'll be right back. Just have a seat please." She didn't know whether to be concerned or mad at this point, but either way, she was confused. Had he been lying to her all these years? He had a daughter? What reason would this lawyer have for lying to her? He had no idea they were dating. Christ! Did she even know who Grissom was? If he could hide something this big, then Jim was wrong; he was excellent at hiding the evidence.

Without knocking, she walked into his office. Startled, he looked up at her. When he saw the look on her face and heard the slam of the door, he got up and walked over to her, "Sara? What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and tried not to burst. Silently, she handed him the business card. "What's this?"

"This is the business card for a Barry Sims."

"I can see that. What's it got to do with me?"

She took another deep breath and thought, 'Okay, maybe he really has no idea what's going on. Surely he'd recognize his own lawyer's name.' "He says he's here to talk to you."

"I need to keep watch on this insect activity. You talk to him. You're on the case just like I am."

"It's not about the case, Grissom!"

"Then what's he want?"

She couldn't help herself; she burst into tears, "He says he's here to talk to you about your daughter."

"My WHAT?" He gathered Sara into his arms, not caring who saw, "Christ, Sara! I don't have a daughter. Calm down. This must be some misunderstanding. Calm down." He didn't let go of her until her tears stopped. She pulled back to look into his eyes. She could she his desperate plea for her to believe him in his eyes. "Come on, let's go see what's going on."

She'd only seen him this mad a couple times. So, without arguing, she followed him back out to the reception area. "Mr. Sims?" The man rose and stuck out his hand. Ignoring it, Grissom continued, "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, Dr. Grissom, it's not. Maybe we could talk about this in private."

"There's nothing to talk about, Mr. Sims. I don't have a daughter. I've never even been married."

"I realize that, Sir."

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm here because your daughter's mother was killed in a car accident a few days ago and she left you sole custody of your daughter in her will."

"But I don't have a daughter or a wife."

"I never said you had a wife. And I'm aware that you had no idea about your daughter. She left you a letter to explain."

"She who?"

"Sandra Spencer."

Grissom's face paled and his arms dropped to his sides, "Sandy?"


	10. Chapter 10

10

Grissom sat in an interrogation room across from Mr. Sims with his head hung. The letter Sandy had left sat on the table in front of him. He knew Sara was listening on the other side of the mirror, and only hoped she'd still be there when he finished.

"Dr. Grissom, I know this is a shock to you."

"Please, drop the Doctor, okay?"

"Okay. I know this is a shock to you. But your daughter needs you right now. She's only four and she's scared."

"Does she even know who I am?"

"Yes. Sandra made sure to tell her about you. She has a picture of you on her nightstand."

"How do you know that?"

"Because Sandra's my wife."

Grissom raised his head and with wide eyes, "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but you look pretty distraught."

"But, if you're her husband, why didn't she leave custody to you?"

"Sandra and I didn't get married until after your daughter was one. The birth certificate has your name on it. Therefore, I couldn't adopt her because you'd have to give up your parental rights. Sandy couldn't bring herself to tell you. So, Sara belongs to you."

"Sara?"

"That's your daughter's name."

Grissom shot a look at the mirror. "Did she ever tell you why she named her that?"

"Yes." Nodding toward the mirror, he asked, "Is she the one?"

"Yes."

"She didn't know?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's mine."

"How much time will you need?"

Grissom finally turned from the mirror, "For what?"

"To come pick up Sara. I don't mean to be rude, but this had been hard enough for me. I'd like to get this over with."

"I understand. Uh, when would be good for you?"

"Could you come by tomorrow? I could have her ready by noon."

"Uh…sure. I guess I don't have much of a choice."

"Thank you." He slid another envelope across the table. "Sandy left this for you, too. It's all of Sara's medical information and her likes and dislikes. Our address is on the top of the letter. I'll see you tomorrow."


	11. Chapter 11

11

Sara walked into the room after Barry Sims left and found Grissom with his face in his hands. She had tears streaming down her face. What for? She wasn't sure. She couldn't tell whether she hurt for him or for herself. All she knew was that she hurt.

Grissom finally broke the silence, "I know I have no right to ask this, but will you take me home, please?"

"Wait in the car while I go talk to Ecklie. What do I tell him about the bugs?"

"Sara…I don't know." Grissom burst into tears and she couldn't take it any more. She walked out to find Ecklie.

She found him in his office, "Ecklie?"

"Sara! What's going on with Grissom? I heard about an argument in reception."

"Grissom needs some time off."

"For?"

There was no use in lying, but she knew Grissom didn't like his privacy invaded. "He has some personal family business he needs to take care of. Someone close to him died and has left him with a few things to take care of."

"That's pretty vague."

"That's all I can tell you other than the fact that I need a couple days also to help him."

"Help him? Since when does Gil need any help with anything?"

Laughing at using Grissom's words, "Since he met me."

"Yeah. You always have been his little time bomb. Fine. You can have a couple days. Tell Grissom to call me when he figures out how much time he'll need. Policy says three to five days for a death in the family I think."

"I don't much care about policy."

"Yes, I know. Have him call me anyway."

"Fine." She turned to leave. "Oh! There's also all those bugs in his office. I'll brief Catherine before I leave on the case, but someone will need to take over Grissom's experiment. You need to call in an entomologist." Without waiting for his response she went to find Catherine.

When she finished with Catherine, Sara found Grissom reclined in the passenger seat of her car with his arm over his face. Feeling like he'd probably need to be in his own home, she drove to his townhouse. Neither of them spoke the whole way there.

When they walked into his townhouse, he walked toward his bedroom. When he got to the doorway, he broke their silence, "I need to take a shower. I'd like you to stay, but if you need to leave, I'll understand." There, he'd made her the offer. It was the easiest he could make it for her. Every part of him hoped she'd be there when he got out, but everything told him she'd be gone.


	12. Chapter 12

12

When he got out of the shower, the smell of coffee drew him out of his bedroom. He almost burst into tears when he saw her seated on his couch. She pointed to a coffee cup on the table. When he sat down, all he could manage was, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For staying. I thought you'd be gone."

"I thought I would, too."

"Why'd you stay?"

Tears streamed down her face. She knew the answer to his question, but didn't know if he could handle it right now. But maybe it would help. Deciding that she'd better not start lying now, she said, "Because I love you."

He started crying again. "God, Sara. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I deserve you. I've hurt you so many times and you can still tell me you love me? How can you possibly love me?"

"I don't know, Grissom. I just do." She crawled across the couch to him and curled herself onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and cried tears into her hair. After a few minutes, Sara told him, "When you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

It took him a while to gather his words, but he finally told her his story through his tears. "About six months before you moved here, I dated a woman. Her name was Sandra Spencer. I met her at a forensic seminar at UNLV. She was a grad student majoring in physics. She was around 5'10", brunette, very pretty. She was intelligent and very curious. In my mind, she was as close to you as I could get. In fact, the only time I didn't see you in her was when I looked in her eyes. No one has your eyes."

"Anyway, I lost myself in her to try and forget you. It didn't work. We had fun together, but she wasn't you. One night, after a couple too many drinks, I had sex with her." He felt her tighten in his arms, "It had nothing to do with love. It was just simple, alcohol-induced sex. She left me the next day. She wouldn't return my calls for weeks. Finally, she called me one night to ask if I could talk to her. We met in the park. She explained that she left me because I'd called her 'Sara' while we had sex. I never realized it. She said I'd called her that several times before, but just ignored it. She couldn't handle it in bed though."

"Of course, I couldn't blame her. She was good about the whole thing. She sat and listened while I told her about you. We talked for hours. At the end, she told me that I needed to get you back into my life. She said it was obvious that I loved you and I was just trying to deny it. Two weeks later, Holly Gribbs was shot and I called you. I guess you know the rest."

He waited in silence until her tears subsided. "I never knew she was pregnant, Sara. I don't know why she didn't tell me. She must have known when we had our talk."

Finally, she spoke, "You don't think there's a possibility that she's not yours?"

"Anything's possible, Sara. The timing is right. But I'll have a test done anyway."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Sara. I don't know anything about little girls or being a father. But it's my responsibility to take care of her."

"You're gonna need help."

"Yeah. But I'm not sure I know anyone who'd want to help me."

"I do."

"Yeah? Who?"

"Someone who wants to help you with every problem life hands you. Someone who sees all you beauty through all your mistakes. Someone who sees her future in your eyes. Someone who loves you despite all your flaws."

"I'm still not sure…"

"I love you, Grissom. Besides, you promised me, not too long ago, that you'd spend every moment replacing my hurt with happiness and prove to me that we could make this work."

"I love you, too, Sara."


	13. Chapter 13

13

On the way to the Sims' house, Sara asked, "Are you okay?"

He reached across the car and took her hand, "I am as long as you're here with me."

"Then you'll always be fine."

"Good. You know, I never asked you how you got this time off."

"I'm better at politics than you. By the way, Ecklie wants you to call him when you know how long you'll need off."

"Jesus, Sara. How am I going to work the graveyard shift with a four year old?"

"Ask Catherine."

"Why, so she can teach me how to neglect my little girl like she does Lindsay?"

"Grissom!"

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I just…she's just not the person I'd like to ask."

"Fine. We'll worry about that another day. Let's worry about one thing at a time."

"Okay. What's today's one thing?"

"I said one thing at a time, not one thing per day. First, we'll deal with how she reacts to you. Then we'll decide what to do next."

"Like?"

"Well, I'm assuming Barry will send her clothes and some toys with her, but she'll need things for her bedroom. And you'll also need to go to the grocery store to get some of the foods she likes."

"How am I supposed to know what she eats?"

"It's all here on the list Sandy left you."

"Sara, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I guess you'll never know." They pulled into the driveway. "You ready?"

"As I'm ever gonna be."

When they knocked on the door, a beautiful little girl answered the door. She held a picture in her hand. She looked from Grissom to the picture, then back again.

Grissom crouched down in front of his daughter, "Hello, Sara."

"Are you my Daddy? You look like my Daddy, but you have hair on your face."

"I am…your Daddy. I grew a beard and mustache since your Mommy took that picture."

"Okay. I thought it was you 'cause you have my Daddy's eyes. My Mommy said I have your eyes, too. Do you think so?"

Tears welled in his eyes, "Yes, I think you do. Sara, is…Barry here?"

"He locked himself in his office. He said to wait here for you. He said that you would know what to do when you got here. I heard a really big noise a little while ago."

Grissom looked up at Sara and he picked up the little girl. He set her on a chair by the front door. "Sara, I need you to sit here while I go talk to Barry. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Daddy."


	14. Chapter 14

14

"Catherine? It's Gil."

"Hey! You okay? You disappeared outta here pretty quick yesterday."

"Cath, I have a 419. I need you and Warrick."

"I thought you weren't working."

"I'm not. I found the body." He gave her the address and she showed up with Warrick and David twenty minutes later. "Thanks for coming so quick."

"Welcome. Wanna fill me in here?"

"Vics name is Barry Sims. Apparent suicide. Sara's upstairs with the little girl. She said he told her to wait here for me and then he locked himself in his den. She said she heard a big noise a little while ago."

"Why would he tell her to wait here for you?"

"Because she's my daughter and I was scheduled to come pick her up at noon."

Catherine's mouth fell open, "Gil?"

"I know. It was a shock to me. Her mother was an old girlfriend of mine. I never knew we had a child. She was killed last week in a car accident. She left custody of Sara to me in her will."

"Sara?"

"That's my daughter's name."

"Coincidence?"

He took a deep breath, "No."

Catherine raised her eyebrows and blew a breath out threw pursed lips, "Wow. You're just a bundle of secrets."

"It's not secrets. It's just truths I didn't know until now."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Listen, I asked for you and Warrick because I knew you could handle this without it being a big deal. I'm not ready for everyone else to know."

"You know I've always got your back, Gil."

"Yes, I do. So…the grief must have overtaken him. His wife was killed in a car wreck and now I'm taking away the little girl he probably raised as his own. His whole life was crumbling. I'm positive it's suicide, but I need you to prove it so we can put this behind us. I don't want Sara to have to go to court. She just lost her mother and now Barry. I'm not sure how close she was to him. We didn't touch anything, of course."

"Sara? Our Sara."

"She took my daughter upstairs so that she could pack her things. I know we can't take anything from a crime scene, but I just wanted it packed for when we can take it. I don't want Sara to have to come back here."

"Okay. I'll call you when I release the scene."

"Thank you Catherine."

Warrick and David, who'd been in the den, walked toward them. "Hey Gris. No investigation here Man. Gun's still in his hand. Hand's positive for GSR. Bullet entered thru his right temple. David says he's been dead for less than an hour. I bagged this note from the desk."

"Thanks, Warrick. Hello, David."

"Hello, Sir. I'll just go get a gurney."

"Wait, David."

"Yes, Sir."

"And stop calling me Sir. I'm not even working."

From Warrick, "Yeah. Why are you here, Gris?"

"Later, Warrick."

"Okay."

"Catherine, I'd like to get Sara out of here before…you know."

"Yeah, go ahead. We'll wait. I'll call you later."

"Thanks again, Cath."

"Welcome."


	15. Chapter 15

15

Meanwhile…

Sara was startled by the little girl's question, "Are you Sara?"

"Uh, yes, I am."

"My Mommy told me that my Daddy loved the name Sara. She told me that if I ever met him, he'd probly be married to a Sara. She said that's why my name is Sara, 'cause if my name was Sara he'd love me, too."

A tear rolled down Sara's cheek as she listened to the little girl's story. "He does love you. But we're not married."

"But he loves you, right?"

"Yes. And I love him."

"If you love somebody and they're not your mommy or daddy, you're posed to marry 'em."

"Oh. I didn't know that. You're a pretty smart little girl."

"Yeah. My mommy says I get it from my daddy."

"Your daddy is a very smart man. In fact, he's the smartest man I know."

"Sara? Barry told me my daddy would bring me a new mommy. Are you my new mommy?"

Still crying, "Sweetheart, your mommy will always be your mommy. No one can ever replace her. But, your Daddy is gonna need some help to make sure he takes care of you the best he can. So, I'll be there to help both of you. Is that okay?"

"Okay. My mommy told me I wasn't posed to call adults by their first name 'cause it's rude, but can I call you Sara?"

"Yeah, Sweetheart. That'll be fine."

"Okay."

A few minutes later, Grissom walked in to find both of them putting some stuffed animals in a backpack. "Are we ready to go?"

"Yes, Daddy."

How long would it take for him to get used to being called Daddy? "Um, Sara, we're gonna have to leave your things here for now until the police are done downstairs. I promise that I'll come back to get everything as soon as I can. Can you just be a big girl for me and leave everything you want in a pile by your door?"

"Can I at least take Gil?"

"Gil?"

She walked over and picked up a teddy bear that was on her bed. "My teddy."

"Oh. Uh, why did you name him Gil?"

"I didn't. Mommy named him for me."

Tears welled up in his eyes. Did he hurt every woman in his life? "Yes, you can take him."

"Okay." It took them a few minutes to pile all her bags near the door and then he took her hand and led her downstairs.


	16. Chapter 16

16

It took a few days, but things became oddly normal in the Grissom household. Ecklie had approved a four-week personal leave for him and Sara had turned in two weeks of vacation to help him get on his feet. He never could have done any of this without. They'd changed his guest room into a little girl's room in less than two days. Her clothes filled the closet and the new dresser. There was a toy chest full of toys, not to mention the ones that filled a set of shelves and were scattered around the living room. She had a bookshelf filled with Dr. Seuss, Mother Goose and every other book recommended at the bookstore and her walls were covered with pictures of every princess and fairy tale he'd ever heard of.

The trip to the grocery store was almost surreal to him. It almost felt like his own fairy tale as he pushed a cart full of food around with his daughter hanging on to the back of the cart. She'd jump off every few seconds to grab something she wanted off the shelves, which is what he'd told her to do. Sara balanced out the junk food he daughter chose, with healthier foods and snacks. From the outside looking in, they looked like the typical family.

Having two Sara's in his house was tough at first. Every time he tried to call one of them, the both answered or came running. For his own sanity, he continued calling his daughter by her name and switched to 'Hon' for Sara. She had basically moved in for the past week, but they hadn't talked about a future. It was something he was going to rectify tonight.

After they tucked Sara into bed, he made coffee while she jumped in the shower. When she came out, he was lounging in bed. "Tired?"

"No. I'd like to talk to you."

She walked over to the bed and took the coffee cup he was handing her, "Okay."

"I hope you know that I couldn't have done any of this without you. I'm not sure whether I tell you enough how much you mean to me. The last week has been so crazy and I've just taken for granted that you'd be here to take care of everything. I guess it hit me a little while ago that you could walk away any second."

"Gris, I'm not going anywhere. I have to admit that this is a whole lot crazier than I had planned, but hey, my life has been full of crazy!"

"You're just amazing. I don't know what other word to use. You've just stepped into my crazy world and took over during the worst crisis of my life and acted like it was run-of-the-mill."

"I love you."

"Yeah, well that's what I want to talk to you about. You know, when we went to the grocery store the other day, we walked around like we were a family. And you've been here for a week and we've spent every second together. Now, I don't know if I'm pushing my luck here, but…I want you to stay."

"Stay?"

"Yes. I, uh, can't say that I'm ready for marriage, because that's just too much for me right now. But I'd like to share my life with you. Sara obviously loves you, and she needs a mother. And I, well…I need you. You…you hold me together. Without you, I think I'll fall apart. You're the piece of me that I've been missing all these years. You complete me."

She looked into his eyes and saw past the sparkle and glaze. She could see worry and fear, but it was only faintly in the background. Was she saw brought a smile to her face and lifted the weight off her chest. It was the love she'd been searching for. His love for her twinkled in beautiful eyes. "One condition."

"Name it."

"Make love to me."

He smiled as the love in his eyes was mixed with a storm of passion, "Yes ma'am."


End file.
